Part of a painting by Esther Zuanich
Time to celebrate – a friend has a full time job at last! She started 3 days ago. This is huge on many levels. She’s clever, educated, well over 50, recently divorced, and really really needs the money.
A convergence of inexperience, age, and life’s curveballs left her without a husband (he cheated), without money (he lied and got away with it), and no prospects (a part-time job for peanuts at a retail centre is all she had been able to get). All because she brought up her 4 children, trusted her man, assumed her marriage was solid, and that she’d never be destitute.
She’s not the only woman to hit 55+ and be in this very situation. Too many find themselves on the wrong side of the pretty much everything, with no help on the horizon.
Except, my friend just got a job. But wait. The only reason she has it is because her father employed her. On a much inflated salary so that she can apply for a mortgage, because she now has no home for herself and her children, and will never be offered a job that enables her to live a financially dignified life. Yes she is clever, but will need to prove her worth to the company pretty fast, else other employees will become disgruntled, and that would be a disaster all round.
Women who give up employment and financial independence to raise children are stuffed by divorce.
Little wonder that women are more likely to suffer from anxiety than men. I bet you a huge proportion are single mothers.
It is unbelievable that we live in a world where the women-folk are cast aside like this. Even if a couple split everything equally, there is an inherent inequality in the ability to rebuild from that point.
This screams that the biggest risk women take on is being in a relationship. We need to live, love, and pick ourselves up when things go wrong. We go into situations unequal – and exit unequal. So for your sake, make sure you hold onto your financial independence throughout.
