Illustration by Keanan
He handed me the piece of paper – in silence – and waited. As you can see from the image above, no words were needed. He felt like rubbish. It was now my move.
What do you do when your child can’t go to school for the day. When you work for yourself, have no support, and even if you do, you prioritise your child’s needs.
My plans for today have been torpedoed. My carefully crafted plan for the first half of the day gave way to phone calls for a medical appointment, driving there and so on, and just realising – now that we’re back – that lunch for 2 has to be factored in… I was going to have yesterday’s leftovers mixed in with whatever vegetable looks like it’ll go off first…
If you’re a mum who works for herself, and especially if you’re a single mum who works for herself, your child waking up unwell is a huge issue. It can mean not being able to earn that day, or worse, it could kill your reputation; not dependable, not professional – which can quickly turn into bigger problems, like losing a client, or a project, and not being able to earn for a lot longer than just one day.
I know I’m not the only one dealing with things like this.
I’ve had to turn work down, knee-jerk into an unplanned plan, and – when attempting to make up time in the dead of night, end up exhausted and good for no-one, not least my son who needs me.
The irony is that many mothers choose to set up on their own so that they can be more available for their children. This is where working as part of a bigger collective, or working for someone else, comes up trumps: someone to pick up where you left off, and a salary at the end of the month – right? Well…..I wouldn’t bet on it. The web is full of horrifying and heartbreaking stories of mothers being forced to choose between going back to work, even though their child was far from OK, or lose their job. There is no provision for women who need help the most: working (often for low pay) mothers and children in need medical assistance – especially if ongoing or long-term intervention is needed.
How do you deal with a work-day given over to caring for your unwell child? If you work for yourself, do you still think it’s worth it, or is this when having a paid job seems the smart way to go?
Share your experiences and thoughts below. Getting a conversation going is the only way we can get this stuff out there, and start figuring out how to change things for us all to live better.
Many single mums choose to live near family so they
have support. Sometimes that is not a choice, but when it
is, it could be better for both mother and child, especially
as an only child can benefit from being close to cousins, building
relationships that last a lifetime.